I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize