He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
