OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
