I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
