I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
