I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize