Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
