i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
