Your tits are I can't wait for
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
