i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
