Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
