brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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