my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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