I want to stick my p in your. b.
I've blown a few things in my day
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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