all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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