Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize