God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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