I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize