On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
porn star boner night. come get it.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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