Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
