So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
