i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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