i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
