so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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