I'm really into asian looking animals
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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