Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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