What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
