I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
