uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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