he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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