I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
