she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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