I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
