There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
