Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
