So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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