I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
