My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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