My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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