i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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