this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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