Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
