it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
time to smoke my breakfast
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
