my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize