He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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