David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
