I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
