we're chasing vodka with high fives
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
