Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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