forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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