Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
