I accidentally had phone sex last night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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