So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
