AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
