Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
