Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
