my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
