Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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