i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
