Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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