my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
