If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
