Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Two words: blizzard sex
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize