I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My breasts were aching with rage.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
