Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have tasted many bathrooms
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
