I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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