I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
