Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm passing your future prison.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
