Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
