As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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